Somewhere during the 10 mile run today through the Garden I found myself. I really was lost for awhile. Have been waiting for the pieces to connect again. The elusive feelings that seemed to be just on the periphery, finally came through . Pure joy . Its been a bit of a struggle to let go, to give myself permission to move with the abandon that I used to have when I ran. My body had betrayed me. It could do it again. There has been a sense of fear and mistrust moving as an undercurrent as I approached running. I hadn't named it, or even admitted to myself it was there. I ran from it, around it, or aganst it. Today I ran through it. Stared it down with clarity. Let go of it. Cancer cannot own my running. I own my running.

I felt light today, and happy.

Garden of the Gods is one beautiful place.